I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
