If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
