dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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