So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
