I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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