Acid is not a monday night drug
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
