is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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