Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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