Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You are the jesus of drinking
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
