My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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