I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
