We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
