he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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