i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize