It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
