I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
