Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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