You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
