I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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