it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
