these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
