I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
