cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
