I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
