Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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