I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
