I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
