dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
