its not stalking. its research.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
