wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
