My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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