xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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