This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
