Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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