I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
