were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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