I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
