You just made me feel so damn special
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize