I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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