Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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