every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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