Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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