i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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