I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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