you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I understand Curling. That high.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
