john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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