I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize