Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
