he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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