No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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