we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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