Soap is not a condiment
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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