Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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