YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
