God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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