Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
