turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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