WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You're completely useless in the revolution.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
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