hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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