week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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