Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
