Got a toothbrush?
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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