erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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