The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
