my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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